I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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