there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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