so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
