He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
