well I can't set my house on fire every night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
