theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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