My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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