On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
