I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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