I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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