How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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