your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
