Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
