does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He shit in the fireplace
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
