I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
