last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
