Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
