you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
