I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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