Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
