My room smells like vodka and shame
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
