Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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