Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
