i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
