Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
