What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
