google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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