I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
