He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
