I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
