how can u be prego again
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
