So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
where are my eyebrows?
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