I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
