oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
