At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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