I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
