i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
