He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
