if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i now understand why vodka
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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