She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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