All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
