she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
