Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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