I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
