I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
