I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
