sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
