420 ftw
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When did angry sex become our thing?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
