just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
