my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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