sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
