idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
