whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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