I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
