What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
