everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
