Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
