They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
