Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
And then he peed in my hair
tell me about the fingering
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