does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
