Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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