Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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