Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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