All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize