She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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