it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
