I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
