Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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