Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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