Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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