I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
birth control should be required to get into college
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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