Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
