dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize