So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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